The Big Picture
- Kids featured on reality TV face lasting trauma due to public scrutiny and the inability to be normal children.
- Parenting choices on shows like 90 Day Fiancé and Love After Lockup can negatively impact children for life.
- Some children on reality TV grow up too fast, dispensing advice while watching their parents make regrettable decisions.
Children being featured on reality TV shows is a delicate issue as the genre continues to grow. Series that focused on kids, like Toddlers & Tiaras and Dance Moms, were entertaining, but they also raised some pretty serious questions surrounding the treatment of the kids involved in the shows. And now, the after-effects that these series had on their young stars have been coming to light. One of the stars of Toddlers & Tiaras, Kailia Posey, died by suicide in 2022, and her mother shared that she had been having mental health issues and was in therapy at the time of her death.
Many of the former stars of Dance Moms have also spoken out against the show and Abby Lee Miller, citing her abusive and racist behavior.Maddie Zeigler shared in an interview that she was forced to say things that isolated her from the group and that she was not allowed to make friends. It is a proven theory that childhood fame leads to lifelong trauma. According to clinical psychiatrist Eileen Kennedy-Moore, “Childhood is about finding out who you are and being able to relate to others, and those things are harder to learn when you're famous. That amount of public scrutiny makes it hard on kids to do that. They can't mess up. So they have to adopt a very self-assured, precocious identity very quickly.” When the normal flow of childhood development is disrupted by fame, they will face issues in one form or another as adults.
It makes a lot of sense that these shows, which were focused on its child stars, created issues that they are still dealing with as they move into adulthood. But what about shows in which the children are not the focus? Shows like 90 Day Fiancéand Love After Lockup are shows about adult relationships. It’s fun to sit and watch people who tend to have delusions of grandeur, go about their lives in pursuit of whatever it is they seek, especially on series all about love. But the one aspect of these shows is that people often don’t consider their families.
90 Day Fiance
TV-14RealityUsing a unique 90 Day Fiance visa, overseas fiances will travel to the US to live with their partners for the first time. Each couple will have just 90 days to decide to get married or send their international mate home.
Release Date January 12, 2014 Cast Natalie Podiakova , Mike Youngquist , Azan Tefou , Yara Zaya , Jovi Dufren Main Genre Reality Seasons 10'90 Day Fiancé’ & ‘Love After Lockup’ Kids Face Collateral Damage From Their Parents’ Choices
90 Day Fiancé has featured a variety of couples, but one that stands out in recent years is the former relationship between Tiffany Franco and Ronald Smith. Tiffany was a single mom who entered a relationship with Ronald Smith, a South African man that she was planning to marry and move to be with. And, as a single mother, her son Daniel was right along for the ride. Tiffany made sure that Ronald and Daniel developed a good relationship, and while it’s easy to understand why she’d want them to connect, it ultimately did more damage than good. Daniel watched as his mother and father figure fight when they were together in South Africa and when they were oceans away towards the end of their marriage. Tiffany, Daniel, and her child with Ronald, Carley, are now back in the U.S., and franchise fans got a glimpse of how the whole ordeal affected 12-year-old Daniel on 90 Day Fiancé: The Single Life. As Tiffany opens up her heart looking for new love, her son has no qualms about voicing his opinions on the matter. Screen Rant shared, “He confessed he struggled to trust anyone after she married Ronald. However, he seemed open-minded about his mother dating and offered her some simple, yet solid advice: ‘Just think next time.’”
There are even more questionable parenting choices made on WeTV’s Love After Lockup franchise series. The current season of Life After Lockup, which follows past couples from Love After, features couples that all have children. New couple Joynomi Davis and Redd Noldon have an incredibly rocky relationship that, thanks to choices Joynomi made while Redd was in prison, will fail. The couple had been together for three years when Joynomi slipped up and slept with three men, and consequently became pregnant. Joynomi gave birth to Swaee, who is absolutely precious, and Redd not only forgave Joynomi, but told her that he’d be a father to Swaee. The couple stayed together for another 4 years, but Redd had Joynomi’s infidelity at the forefront of his mind. He developed “friendships” with several women who even sent him money while he was locked up. When he got out, he immediately cheated on Joynomi with one of his so-called friends. Despite this, he moves to New Mexico with Joynomi and begins forming a relationship with young Swaee. Joynomi and Redd’s relationship is doomed to fail, and the person who will suffer most isn’t Joynomi: it’s Swaee. This young child will very likely lose the first father figure in his life in the midst of his formative years.
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Life After Childhood Trauma
According to HealthNews.com, “The formative years are the most fundamental developmental stage in children. It is the period between 0–8 years, during which the brain and neurobiological development are the fastest after birth. This stage can significantly impact the mental development of a child.” Being so young and watching a parent leave of their own volition and not return can have serious consequences on Swaee’s emotional development. A study done on the very topic found that “The child who experiences abandonment feels unwanted, rejected by his or her own parents, and deals with feelings of worthlessness that cause shame. Unpleasant experiences can significantly alter children’s perception of their relationships with others, leading to a loss of trust in people.”
Then there’s Aris and Cameron Morton. Aris fell in love with Cameron’s music and hit up his DM’s while he was locked up. The two developed a relationship, and when Cameron was released from prison, they got married immediately. Aris was hopeful that Cameron would be a great father figure for her daughter, Nyla. However, Aris forgot that Cameron is a rapper, and that was his primary focus upon his release. He believes in his alleged talent and feels that he will be able to provide for his family if he solely focuses on that. The problem is that he immediately got Aris pregnant, so while Aris is focused rightfully on stability, he’s focused on buying an RV to travel around the country should he go on tour. Nyla was interviewed by producers and shared that she felt Cameron’s ideas were generally bad, and the RV idea was no exception.
Nyla has a lot in common with Daniel on 90 Day Fiancé. Children who are forced into public situations that are also combined with major life changes often grow up quickly. They are wise for their ages, oftentimes seeming smarter than their parents. They give advice and make suggestions that the parent in their life should follow, but often don’t. Instead of playing and learning and exploring who they are, they feel the need to take on responsibility because it seems like there’s no other option. Children like Nyla and Daniel are forced to watch their parents make foolish choices that will have a massive effect on them for the remainder of their lives. Not only that, but millions of people are also watching them go through these traumatic times in their lives.
Parents should consider these risks when watching these shows. Jasmine Pineda, who is a volatile person on 90 Day Fiancé, is one of the few parents on reality TV who isn’t overexposing their child to her equally volatile relationship with Gino Palazzolo. Viewers have only seen her child once or twice through a screen, and she refuses to bring him to the country until things with her and Gino are solid. Mercurial as she is, she understands that this is an important developmental time for her son. She also hasn’t tried to make him call Gino dad, which is a cringe-worthy behavior that happens all too often in these series.
New episodes of LoveAfterLockup air weekly on Friday's at 9PMET on WeTV and are available for streaming on Philo.Watch on Philo
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